One of my students mentioned after class that she had been thinking of starting yoga for a LONG time before she actually came to her first class. Now she loves it and knows that she belongs in our little community.
That got me thinking about my own journey into yoga… How I had read every single word on the websites of the two studios in town. How I had looked through a copy of Yoga Journal magazine a million times. Cover to cover, every word and image was absorbed into my mind.
I had emailed one of the studio owners with questions and had a few conversations with her over the course of almost a year. I had even pulled up in front of her downtown studio to sign up for a class, then for some reason just drove away without going in.
By the time I made it in to my first class, I had been bouncing around with the idea of yoga for probably close to two years.
That is SO UNLIKE me. Usually, I decide to try something and I just do it.
Pretty boutique outfit for my daughter that I can’t afford to buy? I’ll learn to sew and make my own! (Sorry for making you wear that hideous thing when you were little, Briena.)
Gorgeous sweater that can’t be bought because it’s a pattern online? Sure, why not learn to crochet and buy way too much, but oh so fabulous, yarn in the process! (Only to find out that the pattern was for knitting, so let’s learn that, too.)
Someone shared a blog post about homegrown herbs for tea? Sure, let’s tear up the yard and start a garden! (The first few years of which turned into a mountain of weeds before I figured out how to actually care for a garden, but hey that’s ok.)
I could go on, because literally everything in my life is me jumping in head first, no idea what I’m doing… often it involves a phase of regret for jumping in head first, but almost always it ends up being something I’m happy with.
But not yoga
I don’t know why, but yoga seemed so… intimidating. I wasn’t sure if I would belong in that group of people. I wasn’t skinny enough, healthy enough, flexible enough. I certainly wasn’t the “cute mom in nice gym clothes” that you see on the magazines. I was more “frumpy mom who probably has a cheerio stuck to her clothes somewhere and is late for an appointment she forgot about”.
But, I went. The rest is history. It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It changed my life. Radically.
So that got me thinking… perhaps it is the things we are most afraid of that will bring us the most joy, the most needed changes. Perhaps those things we are so afraid of are the very things we need to get out of our ruts, to find our place in this world. Perhaps that fear is simply an acknowledgement of the incredible shift that is about to happen.
So, what are you on the fence about?
It might be yoga. (If it is, come visit me at Prajja Center for Yoga & Holistic Healing in Sioux City!) It might be starting a garden (again, hit me up, I’d love to help you get a garden started!). Maybe it’s starting a new habit, a new hobby, making a big change.
Whatever it is, can you just push through the fear, the doubt, the nerves? Can you talk yourself into just going for it?
The things we get ourselves all worked up about often end up being the things that really don’t matter much in the end. Likewise, the things we wait around on, convincing ourselves that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough, ready enough for… those are the treasures waiting for us. Those are the things that change our lives. That fear will go away. That doubt will fade. What will remain is the gift you give yourself of moving forward despite the challenges.
May you believe in yourself just long enough to make that first jump, and be blessed along the way.